My oncologist kept on reminding me that I have to psyche myself; that everything will be okay- I want to believe him, I want to tell that to myself, but how can I?
Half-a decade ago I was diagnosed to have tumors. I was a good patient, taking my medications religiously, avoided certain food that may enhance the tumor's growth ( I don't like red meat anyways)... Never smoked, not had alcoholic beverage. Endured the 2shots of vaccine and 1booster shot, lived a healthy life and was in commune with my God.
Months later, my Ultrasound result cleared me- as a way of gratitude, I became a Red Cross blood donor, and I am very happy each time I donate 3.5pints of blood each session. Never regretted giving a part of myself, I even encouraged a lot of friends to do the same.
Time flew so fast, just last week I submitted myself for the routine check-up- and my physician referred me to an oncologist and yes I have Big C. Genetics they said ( I have 2close relatives died of Big C)
As I looked back, it dawned on me that moths ago, I had been living a really fast paced life- I even resigned from work to focus on our wedding preps. (my honey is onboard) Then a lot of stressful episodes wiggled their way towards me- at first I fought them- I just have to, but evil remains evil, I could not take that much vileness, I have to retract.
A classmate in my diplomate course, noticed that my aura exudes darkness, without my nod he took me to Ateneo for some stress-debriefing, he said it will be his departure gift for me, since he will be soon deployed to Jordan as an attache.
The psychotherapy went well, thank you I am not insane, but the people around me are... he he he..
Now, I could say I learned how not to mind vile people...
Still trying to accept my fate... This will be an uphill battle, hope I will win this one...
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